Nano Sleuths

 

By Lawrence Letham

Copyright © 2002 by Lawrence Letham.
All rights reserved. No part of this story may be reproduced in any form
without permission in writing from Lawrence Letham.

 

 

Tom surveyed the reports strewn over the top of his desk. It looked disorganized enough, yet not too messy to interfere with his work. He grabbed a report and awkwardly leaned back in his chair to put his feet on his desk. He hated reading with his feet on his desk because it was hard to take notes, but he had to put on the look at least until the new Department Head was chosen.

“Morning, Tom,” his partner called as he came through the door.

“Morning, Bill,” Tom answered. “How was your weekend?”

Bill looked at Tom as though Tom was doing something strange.

“Are you trying to look managerial today?” Bill asked.

“Well, actual…”

The door opened and a man stuck in his head.

“The Director wants to see us,” the man said.

“Hi, Lance,” Tom said feeling a little concerned that the Director might want to discuss the Department Head opening. Rumor had it that Lance, Bill and he were candidates. “What’s it all about?”

“I don’t know, but you had better hurry.

 

Tom, Bill and Lance walked into the spacious office of the Director of the Federal Security Agency and sat down at a large, round table.

“Thanks for coming gentlemen. For the last few weeks, the CIA has tracked the flow of high-level information from the U.S. to Kazakhstan. From there it disappears either into Russia, China, Cambodia or Japan. We don’t know who is stealing the information or who is paying for it, but it’s clear there’s a spy in the White House,” the Director said.

“How do you know that?” Tom asked.

“Some of the stolen information was unique to the White House. One document was a transcript of a private discussion between the President and the British Prime Minister. The British could have leaked it, but the President isn’t taking any chances. He has asked me to find the spy and that is where you come in.”

“Why isn’t White House security looking into it?” Lance asked.

“I’m sure they’re suspect,” Tom said.

“That’s right,” the Director said.

“Is the White House following standard security procedures?” Tom asked.

“You’ll need to find out for yourselves. Lance, you and your team will investigate the staff. Tom and Bill, you’ll handle the nano search and surveillance. You are to use full saturation. The CIA and DoD will loan you their surveillance nano devices, so you’ll have enough. I’ve already made arrangements for you to replace the agents that man the FBI office in the White House. It will look as though they have transferred out and you have transferred in, so no one will be suspicious. The President wants you to be thorough, so do a good job. I want daily reports. Thanks, gentlemen.” the Director said.

“I’ll catch up with you in a minute,” Tom said to Bill and Lance when they left the office.

Tom walked slowly, by himself.

Am I doing the nano search because I’m better than Lance? Tom wondered. Why did I ask so many questions? Why did I sound so eager! Bill sat there and didn’t say a thing. That makes me look twice as eager.

Tom knew he had to walk a very fine line until the Department Head was chosen.

I’ll be subtle from now on, Tom said to himself. I have to play it just right.

 

Tom and Bill spent the next two weeks driving around Washington picking up devices until they finally had enough.

“Do you know how much all these nano devices are worth?” Bill asked Tom.

“No. How much?”

“Over $4 billion.”

“No, that can be right. The nano probes are about a penny each,” Tom said.

“I know how much they cost, but we have billions of them and anyhow it’s the ones that control the nano probes that cost a bunch.”

“How much are they?”

“A level-1 controller costs $72 million.”

“No way. How could they ever cost that much.”

“It’s the controllers that have all the smarts. The nano probes just collect information. It’s the controllers that process and store it. A level-1 controller has a hundred thousand com links, more compute power than all the computers in our whole building and a nearly inexhaustible power supply. It’s the controllers that have the intelligence – the nano probes just do what the controllers tell them to do.”

They carefully loaded nine, gallon sized containers filled with nano probes into a van. Tom got behind the wheel and drove towards the White House.

“This job’s enormous,” Tom said.

“It’s the biggest job ever done.”

Tom slammed on the breaks and honked the horn at the car in front of him.

“What is it with all the traffic?” Tom asked. “Look at those trucks parked around the manholes. Why don’t they get out of the way?”
”Haven’t you heard?” Bill asked.

“Heard what?”

“About the sewer fat crises.”

“Sewer fat crisis?” Tom said.

“Apparently the restaurants in the area have been pouring the fat from their deep fat fryers into the sewer at night and have caused a major clog.”

“That’s kind of funny,” Tom laughed. “The fat clogs our veins then our sewers.”

“The people in the White House don’t think so,” Bill said. “It’s on their line.”

Tom pulled into an auxiliary lot at the White House. They showed their badges and pulled through the guarded gate.

 

They unloaded the nano probes onto a cart and went to the East Room where they closed the doors. Tom took his console from the cart and logged in. Bill put his hand into one of the containers and grabbed a handful of nano probes.

“I love doing this,” Bill said.

He opened his fingers and the nano probes slowly poured out. Tom saw gray dust come out of his hand, but it was so fine that it disappeared long before it hit the ground. Bill poured the nine containers of nano probes into a pile on the floor. He reached into his pocket and got three plastic bags. He poured the nano devices from two of the bags onto the pile and held the last bag up, so he could look at it.

“Are those the level-1 controllers?” Tom asked looking up from his console.

“Yeah, they are.”

“Let me see them,” said Tom reaching for the bag.

At 2.08 mm across, they were small, but Tom could clearly see the tiny spheres. Bill retrieved the bag and poured the level-1 controllers onto the pile.

“Alright. It’s ready to go,” Bill said and logged into his own console.

From his console, Tom commanded the level-1 controllers to determine the size of the room. They lifted from the pile and disappeared from sight. As soon as the level-1 controllers found all the walls and knew the size of the room, they signaled to the pile of nano devices. A group of level-2 and level-3 controllers lifted off the pile followed by a large group of nano probes. They were all too small to be seen with the naked eye, so they disappeared as soon as they dispersed. Tom and Bill watched from their consoles as the level-2 controllers instructed the level-3 controllers, which in turn, instructed the nano probes to form a three dimensional grid through out the room. When the nano devices were done maneuvering, there was a nano probe hovering in every cubic inch in the room.

“This room’s filled,” Tom said. “Go open the doors, Bill.”

As Bill walked across the room, the nano probes moved around him in the exact contour of his body. From the console, it looked as though Bill was walking through water, but the human eye could not see a thing.

 

As soon as the doors opened, every nano device that was not needed in the East Room moved out. The big pile of nano probes vanished within a second and passed through the halls completely unseen. Within minutes, the nano devices had mapped and filled every room, hallway, attic, service tunnel, air duct, elevator shaft, bookshelf, desk drawer, cabinet, sub floor, crack and crevice in the White House. There was not a cubic inch of open space in the entire building that did not have a nano probe in it.

“Can you believe we’ve saturated 10,768,351 cubit feet,” Tom said.

“This job is huge.”

Tom pressed a button on his console. The grid began to jiggle as the nano probes searched their assigned cubic inch of space. As the nano probes searched, they found and identified anything that seemed out of place, especially alien micro and nano devices.

“Look at all those micro devices on the President’s desk,” Bill said.

“There are alien devices every place,” Tom said as he paged through the screens on the console. “There are nano devices in the fire place, the phone wiring room, most of the computers and even some of the radios.”

“Any of those could be transmitting information to some outside monitor,” Bill said.

Bill pressed a button on his console and commanded the grid to compare every alien device to the database of all known devices just to see if any of them were new.

“The grid just compared all the alien devices to the catalogue and they all look like standard devices,” Bill said.

“There are a lot of alien devices here,” Tom said. “Do you think the White House security measures are a bit lax?”

“I doubt it. They probably just watch for radio transmissions and let the devices stay were they are.”

“Has Lance reported anything yet?”

“No dirty laundry so far.”

Tom knew that Lance was competent and if there was a problem with the staff, he would eventually find it, but timing was everything especially when a leadership position was open.

I have to perform, Tom thought. I can’t be too zealous, but I certainly can’t slack off.

“I’m going to start the active tests,” Tom said.

 

The probes transmitted signals, flashed monochromatic light at all frequencies and pulsed lasers to see if any of the unidentified nano and micro devices would respond.

“If any of these devices we’ve found have com links, we’ll know how information has been getting out of the White House,” Tom said.

“None of them seem to be responding.”

“Do you see the concentration of micro devices in the kitchen?” Bill asked.

“I do, but it looks like an average kitchen only bigger. Don’t you think so?”

“Not quite. Have you seen the number of flavor micro devices they have? They have over 10,000 different flavors and most of them are weird. Listen to this: ox tongue, jellied eel, haggis, head cheese, salted horsemeat, escargot, blutwurst, sheeps head, pork uterus, grasshoppers…” Bill read.

“That’s unreal! Grasshoppers?”

“Look for yourself. Spam…” Bill read.
“There’s one I recognize,” Tom said.

“Stinkheads, hog maws…” Bill continued.

“I guess you need a lot of different flavors when you entertain people from all over the world,” Tom said. “But what difference does it make if there are one or a million? Flavor devices don’t have transmitters. All they do is interact with your taste buds, so you think you are eating a specific flavor, and then they go out the other end. They’re harmless.” Tom said.

“That’s not quite how they work, but I never seen so many before especially with such weird flavors. I can understand having flavor devices for salt or sugar because if we eat to much of the real stuff it ruins our health, but blutwurst or haggis?”

“Restaurants use them all the time to turn a poorly prepared dish into something supernal that way any cook can be a chef.”

“The cooks must be really poor here because most of the alien devices in the building are the flavor devices,” Bill said, “even the ones on the President’s desk.”

The console screen flashed a warning.

“Look,” Bill said. “An alien device is trying to escape out a window.”

They watched as the grid of nano probes move in and surrounded the unidentified nano device.

“Let’s get a visual,” Bill said.

Tom pressed a few buttons on the console and a magnified picture of a surrounded nano device filled the screen. The words ‘Roach Master’ were etched on the side of the alien nano device.

“It’s either a roach killer with a bad timer to make it fly around during the day or a clever decoy,” Bill said.

Tom pressed more buttons on his console then stood up and turned on a machine that was on the cart.

“I’ve instructed the grid to capture all the alien devices and bring them here for bagging. I’m going to leave the nano devices in the computers, fire places and phone room, so we can watch them to see if they start transmitting.”

“That’s fine,” Bill said, “but I don’t think you should take all the flavor micro devices. If they all disappear, they will be missed and someone will know that something’s going on.”

“Alright, I’ll program the grid to take only a sample of each flavor.”

The grid transported every alien device in the White House to the machine on the cart where it was sealed in a special bag, except the ones Tom told it to leave for observation. The lab would be kept busy analyzing the captured devices.

 

A few days later, Tom got out of bed early to review the data collected by the grid during the night. He reviewed the incident list, but there was nothing. No alien device tried to communicate in any way. No unauthorized people, no new nano devices or anything out of the ordinary had happened. Bill’s face appeared on the screen.

“Have you read the Director’s message yet?” Bill asked.

“Not yet.”

“You better.”

Tom switched to his secure folder and read the only unopened message.

 “This is serious,” Tom said.

“No nano device leaked that information,” Bill said.

“I know. I looked at the incident list. None of the unidentified devices did anything,” Tom said.

“It’s got to be a person. It’s just plain-old spying – nothing high tech about it.”

“It sure seems that way. Who are the suspects?”

“It could’ve been any one of the President’s aides: Jeston, Romero or Hager. They were all privy to the conversations. It could have been half the cabinet, too,” Bill said.

“I’ll program some of the nano devices to track each of them outside of the White House,” Tom said.

“That’s fine, but we need to take a road trip. The President’s going to Camp David to talk with the European Allies. We have to tag along to monitor everything.”

“Darn it! That means I’m going to miss my anniversary,” Tom said.

“That ought to make your wife mad.”

“Maybe,” Tom said. He knew how she felt about the Department Head opening.

 

For the next week, Tom and Bill lived out of a van parked in a clearing just inside Camp #3 at Camp David. Close enough to monitor and control the mini-grid they set up, yet far enough from the buildings to be inconspicuous.

“Don’t you find it a bit strange that all the flavor micro devices the lab analyzed are modified medical devices?” Tom asked.

“Not really. It’s a Federal law that any nano or micro device used in the body has to be able to find its way out. Manufacturers use old technology medical devices to navigate the body and piggyback the flavor circuits onto it. It’s the lowest cost way to do it,” Bill said.

“Why do flavor devices need know where they are in the body? They go in your mouth, they stimulate your taste buds and they’re out the other end. It’s all connected. Don’t you think it’s strange that they are so capable?” Tom said.

“Not at all. Flavor devices don’t go through your intestines. From the stomach, they enter the blood stream, travel to the end of the large intestine and embedded themselves in the stool. They are active in the body for 15 minutes max,” Bill said. “The thing I find strange is the fact that Jeston goes to that restaurant where everyone reads their own poetry. Don’t you think Jeston’s poems are a bit off the wall?”

“Yeah, they’re weird. ‘The yonder’s morn through garden gate turns Hilda’s head though it’s too late for gone’s her ears, her tongue removed her heart cut out placed in her shoes’. What’s that suppose to mean?” Tom asked.

“I think it is some kind of code. He has to be passing information,” Bill said.

“What about Haliburt from the cabinet? Every night, he sits by himself in that bar and taps his glass with a pencil. I’ll be surprise if he isn’t passing information. We just need to figure out his code.”

“They all have some weird thing don’t they?”

The van lapsed into silence. There were too many questions and not enough answers. Tom scanned through his email then turned to his secure folder. He read Lance’s latest report.

“Darn!” Tom said when he finished the report.

“What’s the matter?” Bill asked.

“Have you read Lance’s latest report?”

“Yeah, I did. Nothing noteworthy.”

“That’s the problem,” Tom said without thinking.

“What do you mean it’s a problem?” Bill asked.

There’s no reason why I shouldn’t tell him, Tom thought to himself.

“I was hoping Lance would crack this case, so he would be the most likely candidate for Department Head,” Tom said.

“You’re just as qualified as he is and you might solve this case. And who’s to say that I won’t solve it?”

“I know, but…”

“If you don’t want to be Department Head, why don’t you just say so?” Bill asked.

“It’s not that easy,” Tom answered.

“Why is it so hard? If you don’t want to do it, you don’t want to do it.”

“It’s my family. My Dad was a Department Head then Assistant Deputy, then Deputy, and finally Director. He keeps asking me when I’m going to be promoted. I don’t want to disappoint him, but I saw what it did to his life and I don't want it. I know my father loved us, but I want to be with my family. Being a Department Head means longer hours. A position like that means everything that kept my father away from us while we were growing up.”

“What does your wife think?”

“I haven’t really talked to her about it, but she’s listened to my father so much that she seems to think that being successful means getting promoted. I’m afraid I’d disappoint her if I ever told her that I just want to stay where I am and come home most nights,” Tom said.

“I guess that explains the mess on your desk and why you’re not asking questions at briefings any more.”

“Yeah. I’m hoping that Lance or you will look more Department Head like than me, so I can have what I want without hurting anyone at home.”

“You’re hurting them, only slowly. They’ll eventually find out. You need to talk to your wife,” Bill said.

“I know.”

 

Two weeks after returning from Camp David, Tom and Bill once more sat in the Director’s office.

“Let me understand this,” the Director said. “All the suspects from the White House were also at Camp David?”

“That’s right,” Bill said.

“Then why is it that none of the information discussed at Camp David leaked?” the Director asked.

Neither Tom nor Bill had an answer.

“You’ve had nano probes on all the suspects for the last two weeks and we still don’t know how they are passing information?” The Director asked.

“We can’t tell who’s passing the information or how it’s passed,” Tom said.

“Damn!” the Director swore. “This is embarrassing! What good is all that fancy, high-tech crap if it can’t tell us anything?”

“We haven’t had the nano probes check inside their bodies yet. Maybe there is something in there,” Bill offered.
”Don’t even think about penetrating even so much as a molecule of skin. It’s illegal and we’d be roasted!”

“Of course, your right,” Bill back pedaled as fast as he could. “No radio signals are emanating from any of the people, so there is no reason to penetrate.”

“Even if one of them turns into a veritable broadcast station, do not penetrate without a search warrant,” the Director pounded his hand on the desk.

“Aside from waiting and watching, what can we do?” Tom asked.

“Have you been listening to their telephone conversations?” The Director asked.

“Yes, the side that takes place in the White House,” Bill answered. “We haven’t listened to the other side of the conversation. Everything is strictly legal.”

“Have you looked for body movements that might be a secret code? Remember that POW that blinked SOS in Morse code with his eyes when he was forced to read an enemy statement on TV?” the Director asked.

“We’ve run motion analysis on all the suspects,” Tom said.

“So you have probes on them 24x7?”

“Everyplace, but in private residences. We don’t have any search warrants,” Bill said.

“We need to narrow the list of suspects, so we can get some warrants. How do you suggest we do that?” the Director asked.

“We could plant different information with each suspect then see what version leaks?” Bill suggested.

“That’s a good idea,” the Director said. “Draft up some page that describes troop strengths in Taiwan or something like that and make each sheet slightly different.”

“How will we plant them?” Bill asked.

“I’ll ask the President to take care of it. All of his aides and cabinet are still suspects,” the Director said.

“You know what would really help?” Tom said.

“What’s that?” The Director asked.

“If somehow, the President could keep all the suspects in the White House for 48 or maybe 72 hours after they’ve seen the papers then we’d be able to more easily tell if information is being passed from the office or from private homes,” Tom said.

“That’s right. If nothing leaks while they’re confined that would strengthen our case when we ask for search warrants,” Bill added.

“I like it!” The Director said. “But what believable reason could the President use?”

“The administration has never tested global crisis procedures. A practice run could easily keep them there a few days,” Tom said.

“How do you know about these procedures?” the Director asked.

“I heard one of the aides talking about it,” Tom said.

“Good idea. I’ll tell the President.”

Tom had to admit it was a good idea, but now he really worried. He wanted to stay silent to not outshine Lance or Bill, but they badly needed a break.

 

“Morning, Mr. President” sounded the cabinet members as the President walked into the room.

“Good morning, everyone,” the President said as he sat down. “I’m sorry to have kept you here for the last few days, but you’ll be able to go home tomorrow. Hunter, you mentioned you needed to discuss a security matter?”

“Yes, Mr. President,” Hunter said. “I’ve distributed a folder to each of you. It describes a new weapon that was successfully tested last week. It’s called the static cannon.”

“How does it work?” Mr. Haliburt, the secretary of Foreign Affairs, asked.
Tom and Bill hunched over their monitors in another part of the White House. They could plainly see that the President was uncomfortable. He suspected that someone on his staff was a spy, now they were discussing the most powerful and secret weapon developed in years.

“Good Morning, Gentlemen,” the Director’s face appeared on their consoles. “Mr. Hunter’s version of the story just arrived in Kazakhstan. The entire document, verbatim.”

His face disappeared.

“What a break,” Tom said. “That means the information is leaking directly from the White House.”

“And it sounds like we’ve got our man. We just need to figure out how he’s doing it,” Bill said.

“It’s not going to be that easy. I’ve analyzed everything he’s done at the White House and so far I can’t tell how he’s passing information,” Tom said.

“Gentlemen,” The Director’s face reappeared. “It seems as though Mr. Haliburt’s and Mr. Sentur’s versions have also made it out. You’d better figure out what’s going on.”

The Director’s face disappeared.

“Wow! I wasn’t expecting that,” Tom said.

“Neither was I,” Bill said pensively. “Let’s list everything that goes in and out of the White House.”

“People,” Tom said.

“Air, light, water, sewage,” Bill said entering each item into his console.

“Nano and micro devices,” Tom added, “but the grid has shown that none are transmitting – unless they’re transmitting at really low frequencies, but then they would need really long antennas, but they could use…”

Tom pressed buttons on his console.

“Low frequency analysis,” he said quietly to himself.

Bill added ‘internal nano devices’ and ‘electricity’ to his list. Bill thought for a moment. He added ‘radio waves’, ‘insects’, ‘animals’, ‘mail’, ‘newspaper’, and ‘sounds’ to the list. Bill stared at the list.

“I’ve done a sweep for low frequency waves. It’s another dead end,” Tom said.

“I didn’t think you’d find anything.”

“Send me the list. I’d like to look at it.”

Bill sent the list and reached for a pad of paper. Tom watched him write the list onto the paper. Tom’s console beeped.

“Thanks, Bill,” Tom said as he opened the list to look at it.

“I think I’ll go to the bathroom,” Bill said.

Bill took his pad of paper and left.

 

Tom studied the list. He crossed off ‘air’.

The grid has inspected every cubic inch, he thought.

He crossed off ‘light’ too since the grid verified that no strange light sources had entered or left the building.

‘Water’, Tom thought. It was possible someone was putting something in a hose and sprinkling it out of the grounds or pulsing the water to send a coded message.

He made a note to send nano devices outside to monitor the hoses. He nearly crossed of ‘sewage’, but made a note to send nano devices down the pipes instead of stopping in the toilet bowls and sinks. Tom crossed off  ‘electricity’, ‘radio waves’, ‘insects’, ‘animals’, ‘mail’, ‘newspaper’, and ‘sounds’.

The grid had monitored them completely. They had even passed through the animals in the White House.

He looked at the remaining list: ‘people’, ‘water’, ‘sewage’ and ‘internal nano devices’. He half concentrated on the list while wondering which person was passing the information.

“How’s it going?” Billed asked returning from his trip.

“I’ve eliminated some items,” Tom said.

“Are we going to share this with our allies?” Tom heard Mr. Haliburt on the console.

“That’s a sensitive matter,” Mr. Sentur said. “Even if we tell our own people, it might cause controversy.”

“We can’t say anything,” the President said. “It has to remain secret. Ten years from now, we might have to admit we have it.”

“It may not be wise…”

“I can see only three possibilities,” Tom said to Bill as he crossed another item off his list.

He stared at the list deep in concentration.

“No,” Tom said out loud, but more to himself. “The leaks take place at the White House, so there’s only one real possibility,” Tom said.

“Let’s take a fifteen minute break before we continue this discussion,” Mr. Haliburt’s voice came out of the console.

“Alright,” the President agreed. “Everyone be back here in twenty minutes. I’ve got to visit the bathroom.”

Tom sat up straight in his chair and turned to Bill.

“Lots of data,” Tom said. “We are losing lots of data. We’ve got to stop the President!”

“Stop whom?” Bill asked.

“Come on! We’ve got to get to the President.”

Tom ran out of the room and Bill followed.

“Where are we going?” Bill shouted.

“The President is passing the information,” Tom said. “We’ve got to stop him!”

As Tom ran, he watched the console he was carrying. When the President left the cabinet meeting, he headed for the bathroom.

“It’s the flavor micro devices,” Tom yelled as he ran down the hall. “They don’t transmit. They gather information through the person’s eyes and ears then are washed down the sewer.”

The President was in the bathroom sitting on the toilet reading a magazine.

“Then,” Tom breathed hard, “sewer guys pick up.”

The President closed the magazine. Tom and Bill turned the corner. The bathroom was the last door on the left. White House security people started coming towards Tom.
”Move!” Tom yelled.

“It’s the FBI guys. Let’em by,” one of the security people said and the way opened before Tom.

Tom turned the bathroom door handle. The President reached for the flusher. Tom burst through the door.

“No!” Tom shouted.

The President pressed the flusher and water flowed into the bowl. Tom leaped for the toilet, but something in the corner of his eye reached out and tripped him. Tom crashed to the floor. He scrambled on his knees to the toilet and plunged his hand into the bowl in time to grab nothing. Nothing, but the cyclone of swirling water.

“We’re too late,” Tom, panted over the toilet.

The knowledge of the static cannon had just washed into enemy hands and there was no way they could get to the sewer guys fast enough.

“Sorry, for the disturbance, Mr. President,” Bill said. “Come on, Tom.”

Bill helped Tom up. The President stared in disbelief.

“Could someone explain to me what’s going on?” Tom heard the President say as they left the bathroom.

Tom picked up the console he had dropped. He poked at the screen with his finger.

“I’ll move the grid over there to tail the sewer guys,” Tom said.

The Director’s face interrupted Tom.

“I’ve got some great news. Lance found the leak and has made some arrests,” the Director said.

“What’s the leak?” Tom asked wondering if it were something other than the micro devices.

“You know those flavor micro devices you found all over the White House? They do more than add flavor. They collect in the eyes and ears, store whatever comes in and then they leave the body through the feces. Lance’s team has already arrested the spies posing as sewer guys and is sucking up this morning’s deposit.”

“That’s great,” Bill said. “Be sure to congratulate him for us.”

“Lance has already sent agents to arrest the device distributors. He thinks they are linked to organized crime and the information is being sold to the highest bidder. It looks like things are pretty well wrapped up, so you two just need to pack up the grid and come back to the office.”

The Director’s face disappeared.

 

“I would’ve had it if I hadn’t of tripped!” Tom said. “Who tripped me?”

“How did you figure it out,” Bill asked.
“There were only four possibilities: ‘people’, ‘water’, ‘sewage’ and ‘internal nano devices’. Reams of information were being passed. Entire documents. I figured it could not be people because the only way they could pass information is through body gestures, because the grid showed they weren’t stealing documents or secretly transmitting anything. It would take forever tapping your pencil or reading poetry to send any decent amount of information, so I figure the conduit had to be capable of storing huge amounts of information, which meant nano or micro devices. And the only way out of here would be the sewer,” Tom said.

“Brilliant deductive work. Congratulations,” Bill said.

“I wonder how Lance figure it out? He didn’t have access to the information we had,” Tom said.

“He is really good. In fact, I was there when he figure it out. You see, when I went to the bathroom, I accidentally left my pad of paper near the sink. Lance came in, while I was in the stall, and read it. It didn’t take him long to figure it out. He is smart,” Bill said.

Tom stopped walking.

“You left your pad accidentally by the sink?” Tom asked.

“Yeah.”

That doesn’t sound like Bill, Tom thought. How could Lance figure it out? He didn’t have all the data I had?

“What was crossed off your list?” Tom asked.

“Everything but ‘micro devices’ and ‘sewer’,” Bill said.

Tom felt his anger rising. His partner had just handed the entire case to Lance. Tom turned to face Bill. Bill smiled slyly.

“I think Lance, especially after solving this case, will make a good Department Head. Don’t you?” Bill asked.

“I think…” Tom spoke then stopped. He was about to say that he thought his partner was a traitor and should be throttled, but Tom paused to reflect.

“I think, Lance will make a great Department Head,” Tom agreed.

They smiled at each other and continued walking.

“Why are you limping?” Tom asked Bill.

“Oh, some lunatic crashed into my leg in the President’s bathroom.”

Bill gave Tom another knowing smile.

“Some lunatic is right. If I had reached that toilet in time, I would’ve gotten the credit for solving the case and would have been the world’s most unhappy person. How did you figure it out?” Tom asked.

“I saw that there were leaks at the White House, but not at Camp David. I made a list for both and found that the only difference was that Camp David had a septic tank. From there it was easy.”

“You would make a good Department Head,” Tom said.

“No. I make a good agent. And, unlike you, I’ve told the Captain and my wife that I’m going to stay an agent.”

 

 “They made Lance the new Department Head today,” Tom told his wife at dinner a few days later.

“Oh, Honey. I’m sorry. I know how much it meant to you. Maybe next time.”

How could she think that I want that job? He wondered to himself.

“Yeah, maybe next time.”